never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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