summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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