I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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