Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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