We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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