"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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