why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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