She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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