By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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