And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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