Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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