'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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