once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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