you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize