Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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