So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
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I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
is it fun? or sober?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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