Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
BRING THE BAGELS
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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