i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We left the knife in your bed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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