I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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