Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize