It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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