also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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