I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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