the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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