She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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