My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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