I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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