I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize