Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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