I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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