I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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