hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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