my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize