My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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