Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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