Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize