Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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