dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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