Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize