So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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