quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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