He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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