my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize