Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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