He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize