you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize