My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize