I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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