after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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