he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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